Originally posted January 19, 2012
1. Life is so much richer when you aren’t grasping for climax. This way you are open to feeling all the nuances of what is here now, as opposed to clamping down on how you think it should be.
2. Sometimes all you need is a good, clean downstroke to carry you to the bottom, help you peel off an old layer, and bounce back up again.
3. Know when you are full and express your gratitude. It will help you expand your capacity to receive.
4. Every experience begins with desire. It’s your choice whether or not you express it, but if you hold back, there will be static between you and the other person that will make intimacy that much more difficult.
5. Don’t overstroke. When the peak has ended, be courageous enough to change.
6. Before there’s “get off,” you must first put simple attention on what is, approve of it and engage it 100%.
7. Stroke for your pleasure. The moment you start doing something to produce a result, you are setting yourself up for resentment.
8. You’ve already done it “right.” All you have to do is show up and get into position.
9. Focus on sensation. It’s the purest language between you and your partner. Let go of the story you have around who that person is and who you think you are.
10. Life, like an OM, is an experience unto itself, not collateral for a future transaction. You don’t owe anyone anything for participating.
11. Push out through your genitals. The world is hungry to feel your orgasm. It’s the fuel that drives you and the energy that magnetizes that which you desire into your life.
12. Sometime we go up, sometimes we go down. The practice is in riding the waves, rather than drowning in them.
13. Breathe and surrender. The rest will be taken care of.
14. Be willing to ask for the exact stroke you want. Set yourself up so that the people around you can win.
15. “No” is not a rejection of you, but of the offer. Don’t take anything personally.
16. Sometimes you are the stroker and sometimes you are the strokee. Know your role in the moment and play it fully.
17. Oftentimes, it is the lightest stroke that draws out the deepest desire.
18. Slow down. Feel. Include. Expand.
19. Orgasm is big enough to include everything and volatile enough to burn away what is false.
20. The ride alone is the reward.