Photo by Wendy K Yalom Photography
October: A Haiku
Photo by Adam Gordon
Rain on the window
The sound of our hearts beating
Lovers symphony
Perhaps (A Woman’s Refrain): For Kelly Oxford
Susanna and the Elders by Artemisia Gentileschi
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT
Perhaps it was the time I was walking along Washington Square Park
A man came behind me and slapped my ass
While his friends laughed.
Embarrassed, I just walked faster.
Or perhaps it was the time I was on the subway
A man came and sat in front of me
His hand stroking his cock behind a brown suitcase.
I moved to another car. He followed me. I yelled at him, but felt like a bitch.
Or perhaps it was the other time I was on the subway
A man came and pressed his cock between the cheeks of my ass
No one could tell anything was wrong because of the crowds.
Scared, I held my breath praying for my stop to come.
Or perhaps it was the time I was on my way home
A man came asking me for some money.
Being nice (isn’t that always our way, ladies) I gave him twenty dollars.
He grabbed me and tried to kiss me on my mouth.
Or perhaps it was the time I went to Barcelona
A man came offering to give me a tour of the park
Instead he took me to a remote area and rubbed himself against my ass.
He came. And laughed. I felt stupid for being so gullible.
Or perhaps it was the time I went on that date
A man came and pushed me to the ground—ripping my panties in two
Demanding oral sex because he bought me dinner.
Feeling guilty, I jerked him off as fast I could. He tried to follow me home.
Or perhaps it was the time when I was a girl learning to navigate my sex
A man came and told me to keep my legs together if I wanted into God’s Kingdom
He spoke, licking his lips as he hungrily eyed my tits and ass.
Confused, I felt like I was a sinner…but I liked the attention.
Or perhaps it was the time …
A man came …
Grabbed me by the pussy …
My fault …
Or perhaps …
Man …
Licked …
Secret …
Perhaps …
Perhaps …
Perhaps …
Listen to a Very Revealing Interview on the "Together" podcast
Photo by Karl Baba
My husband, Adam Gordon, and I are pretty candid about our relationship. But this interview with Erik Newton on the Together podcast went way deeper than we expected. Take a peek behind the curtain of our relationship and see what's it's like to create a marriage based on supporting your partner(s) desires.
Check Out My Husband and Me on "Fights Clean, Sex Dirty TV"
Adam and I had a blast speaking with Raj & Gaby Sundra from Relationship Fun & Games. Check out the re-broadcast of our interview on "Fights Clean, Sex Dirty TV." We share all our tips and tricks on how to keep fights clean when in the heat of the argument--and even share a little about how to get that heat to move into the bedroom ;-) Enjoy!
Madrecita: A Haiku
Begging for my life
And with grace as her weapon
She is merciful.
"From 6 to 9 and Beyond" coming to you Summer 2017!
The Whore Archetype. Photo by Sequoia Emmanuelle.
Dear supporters of From 6 to 9 and Beyond,
Thank you so much for your contributions and support as this project comes to fruition. I know it has been some time but I am excited to say that this book is finally receiving the funding it needs to be completed.
Because both crowdfunding campaigns raised well below their projected goals, there have been many delays and I've been forced to come up with creative strategies in order to complete the project. I was even in talks with a major publisher for several months last year to potentially have the book published, but after many rewrites, we realized it simply wasn't the right fit.
However, as I am wrapping up the third draft and preparing to pass the book off to my editors, I am excited to announce that we are projecting a release date sometime in Summer 2017!
So thank you again for your patience and I cannot wait to get From 6 to 9 and Beyond to you.
Take care,
Candice
The Erotic: A Haiku
Photo by Candice Holdorf. East Richmond Heights, CA.
Wet flower petals
Just beyond my fingertips.
The content voyeur.
2016: AN INVITATION FOR INSPIRATION
Tying up my career "loose ends."
At the beginning of 2016, I made it a personal goal to wrap up several of the "loose ends" that were draining energy in my life. FYI, there is nothing inherently "wrong" with loose ends--they simply occupy my brain space and "slow the wheels" of my mind-gears (making it difficult to fully squeeze the juice out of my mind-grapes--that's a 30 Rock reference for those who are wondering ;) )
Anyhow, one of these "loose ends" was to finally sit my ass down and write a half hour comedy pilot that's been banging around in my brain the past few months. After my short film script Magdalena won two festival awards last year, I wanted to create something new to submit to the festival circuit. Lo and behold, when I sat down to do it, I completed it in just under a week!
Regardless of whether or not this script goes anywhere, it feels good to have fun, sharpen my skills and have my mind clear(er) and free(r) for the next creation to flow through.
I'm finding that tying up "loose ends" is one of the keys to inviting inspiration. If our minds are clouded and chugging along, worried about the stuff we haven't done, then we can't truly be present in our lives. There is no "empty space" for fresh ideas to flow.
Sometimes procrastination can be a good thing. It allows for ideas to flourish and mature into something we may never have originally imagined. But I think it's important to be able to distinguish when an idea is "marinating" or "rotting."
So for anyone feeling like their inspiration is a little lacking, take a moment to assess where there are loose ends in your life--energetic open loops that are draining your ability to be present. There may be something there for you or there may not. But either way it will at least give you a valuable map to navigate your resistance and (usually) your desire.
Dangerously Watered: A Haiku
Copyright Candice Holdorf